Dear Nick,
It seems like so long ago that I told you that I was at peace with letting you take my Emmagirl. I really thought that I was. But I was deceived, terribly deceived. I know now, after two days of her being gone, that I am nowhere near ready to let her go. I miss her terribly. I ache to feel her warm, sweet cheek against mine when she greets me, still sleepy-eyed in the morning. I long for her companionship in the kitchen, where so many times a day I slip my arms around her waist and bury my nose in her hair or plaster her pretty face with kisses or just dance with her. I miss all her little happy songs that she sings throughout the day, especially as she is milking, and her beautiful smile that is the very sun to me. I miss watching her lead Fiona through the yard and waving at her grandparents as they watch her go by from their kitchen table. My mom says that Emma hung the moon. She is right too. Emma hung the sun, the moon, and the stars for us. Without her, this place is desolate.
This is certainly not the first time that Emma has been away from me. This time, though, it is much harder, because I know that I am completely cut off from her by an ocean, and I know that she is with you and that she is far happier being in Italy with you than here with me. I don't know what to do with this knowledge. I just feel heartbroken and lost.
Emma has always been such a homebody, attached not just to the heart of the home but even to the things of home. I remember when her dad changed out the light fixture above our kitchen table when she was about six years old. She broke down and just sobbed because she couldn't stand for something that she associated with home to be tossed out for something new and alien. We've always talked about her living next door to us. I know now that's about as far away as I can stand without severe distress. I talked with my sister, Beverly, about it last night. She tried to cheer me up, but I couldn't stop crying. She told me that she had a very hard time when her daughter, Caitlin, moved into a house 30 minutes away. You plan to take Emma to Ohio. How unbelievably cruel!
Beverly said I should start quilting as therapy now and suggested I make a wedding quilt for you and Emma. That would be nice, but I see no glimmer of comfort in that, no substitute for the heart-of-my-heart bond that I have with Emma. I don't think any kind of busyness can take her place. And why would I want to do something nice for you? You're the one who plans to take her far away!
So I want you to know that I am not going to be nice to you anymore, and I am not going to make it easy anymore. I am withdrawing all love, understanding, support, and invitations to visit here. You may not give her a ring or any gift other than maybe a set of screwdrivers on her 18th birthday.
I hope it takes you fifteen years to get a job after you graduate from college and that in the meantime Emma gives up on you and marries a local boy who wants to live next door.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I'm finally starting to feel a little better.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Haught
10 comments:
I'll pray for you, Wendy and please keep me in your prayers as well.
My first thought is, poor Nick!
My second thought, poor you. I have never met a mother and daughter with such a wonderful relationship as you and Emma. While I would never debate that marriage is a right and good thing, it seems criminal in this case to take Emma away from you.
If she did marry Nick and move here, she would live probably an hour or less away from me. That would be pretty neat.
This is indeed a dilemma. I wonder how it will end up?
Thanks, Elena!
I will certainly pray for you too.
Dear Emily,
Why do you feel sorry for Nick? I hope I haven't confused everyone by my letter. Writing it helped me get over the sad feelings I was having and see the good. And there is so much good in Nick and Emma. I love them both dearly.
I've had wonderful, wonderful years with Emma. I've been enormously blessed. I will miss her if she goes to Ohio, but if that is where her future happiness lies, I will be glad for her. . .and promptly buy a motorhome.
And I am crazy about Nick! I think he's a prince, and he treats Emma like a princess. I'm constantly learning new and wonderful things about him that make me ask, "Can he be for real?" And he is! Much as I adore Emma, I'm not sure she deserves him. He's that incredibly awesome.
I promise to continue being nice to him, and I am eager for him to visit. And someday when he gives Emma a ring, you will see the pictures here on this blog, and everyone will be smiling from ear to ear. I hope he gets a job immediately upon graduation, if not sooner, and their marriage will be blessed with "plenty bonnie bairns as weel!"
I already thought about the possibility of Emma being close enough to visit you, and it made me so happy! She would love it.
Nick is going to school at Wright State, near Dayton. I don't know where the engineering jobs are, though. He still has a little over two years before he'll graduate. Would the Dayton area be within an hour of you?
"So I want you to know that I am not going to be nice to you anymore, and I am not going to make it easy anymore. I am withdrawing all love, understanding, support, and invitations to visit here."
I know you were joking-sorta. :) I was too. I hope that he realises what he is getting in Emma (if she marries him), but also what he is taking from you. Not that he should feel guilty or something, but at least acknowledge it. It usually doesn't work that way in today's world, but it's a pretty huge thing when a girl like Emma leaves her family to marry. Nick sounds like a wonderful guy. Emma deserves a very special, one-of-a-kind man. Dayton is just around an hour if it's the northern part, less if it's central or southern. There are some nice places to live between here and Dayton, too. I suppose it all depends on where Nick finds employment after he graduates. I don't have many friends at all around here, and I'd be thrilled if Emma moved close. We seem to share so many common interests, and I'm a little ahead of her in life so I have experience to share as well, for what it's worth. I would love to be friends with her. I think I could learn a lot from Emma.
Dear Emily,
Right! I said that: "So I want you to know that I am not going to be nice to you anymore, and I am not going to make it easy anymore. I am withdrawing all love, understanding, support, and invitations to visit here."
But that was when I was distraught, and I was venting, not truly serious. And the venting helped me get over it. You notice I said he could only give her a set of screwdrivers. I imagined a set with pink plastic handles and little pink bows with white dots. I was starting to laugh by that point.
Oh, Emily! Emma could learn sooo much from you, and you could help each other with fittings! And Emma would have a bosom friend other than her mother. To have Nick for a husband and you for a friend would just be heavenly for her, and that, in turn, would make me exuberantly happy.
This is just the kind of letter I would write in your place... I love it and I know it did make you feel better. Humor has healing properties... "a cheerful heart does good like a medicine." :)
Dear Kristyn,
Thanks for your sweet message!
Dear Mrs. Haught,
Thanks for the letter. :) I must admit, I wasn't sure if you were serious or not the first time I read it, but Emma was there beside me and was highly amused, assuring me that you were not serious. (We read this when we were in Italy, on the computer in the girl's hotel in Rome). Once I viewed it in that light, I understood and now every time I read it and the comments that follow, a huge smile lights up my face. :) You are wonderful! I don't know how everything will turn out either as far as me getting a job and when and where, but I just try not to think about it and hope for the best and leave it all in God's hands. I'm in engineering, so the jobs are already going to be not too difficult to find, as well as steady and well-paying; and my field of engineering, Industrial and Systems Engineering, is highly versatile and the third most popular field in the US. It's expected to grow by about 14% over the next few years, and the average starting salary for a graduate just out of college with a Bachelor's in ISE is about $57,000, according to the latest statistics. As long as I do well in college, which I'm trying my best, finding a job shouldn't be too difficult. Where it'll be, I don't know, but I'm going to take the soonest one I can so I can marry my dear Emma sooner. I'll certainly look both in your area and here, though. And even if I can't find one close by you, we'll do our best to visit as often as we can and you will always be welcome to come visit as long as you want, of course!
Dear Nick,
I have every confidence that you will make the right decisions for you and Emma and your future family. That is enough to ensure my happiness, whether you live next door or in the Alaskan wilderness.
May God bless you always.
Love,
Mrs. Haught
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