Entering the Golden Age of Eligibility and Wooability

Where are the Simple Joys of Maidenhood? This is Maiden Emmaline's song of the week. Every time she sings "Shall I never be rescued in the wood?" a celestial smile lights up her face.

I heard it for the first time at the Texas 4-H Roundup Vocal Contest last week. When we got home we looked it up and fell in love with it. It’s from the musical Camelot and suits Emma perfectly. If only her voice teacher understood her as well as I. She wanted her to sing "Simple Little Things" from "110 in the Shade". She had Emma read through it first, and when Emma got to the line that says, "No shining knight must kneel," she stopped and told the teacher, "I disagree,".

Here are the lyrics to The Simple Joys of Maidenhood:


Saint Genevieve, Saint Genevieve!
It's Guinevere, remember me?
Saint Genevieve, Saint Genevieve!
I'm over here beneath this tree!

You know how faithful and devout I am
You must admit I've always been a lamb.

But Genevieve, Saint Genevieve
I won't obey you anymore.
You've gone a bit too far.
I won't be bid and bargained for
Like beads at a bazaar.
Saint Genevieve, I've run away,
Eluded them and fled,
And from now on I intend to pray
To someone else instead!

Oh, Genevieve, Saint Genevieve
Where were you when my youth was sold?
Dear Genevieve, Sweet Genevieve
Shan't I be young before I'm old?

Oh shan’t I Saint Genevieve?
Why must I suffer this squalid destiny,
Just when I’ve reached the golden age of eligibility and wooability?
Is my fate determined by love and courtship,
Oh no: Clause 1 fix the border;
Clause 2 establish trade;
Clause 3 deliver me;
Clause 4 stop the war;
5,6 pick up sticks.

How cruel!
How unjust!
Am I never to know the joys of maidenhood?
The conventional ordinary, garden variety, joys of maidenhood?

Where are the simple joys of maidenhood?
Where are all those adoring daring boys?
Where's the knight pining so for me
He leaps to death in woe for me?

Oh where are a maiden's simple joys?

Shan't I have the normal life a maiden should?
Shall I never be rescued in the wood?
Shall two knights never tilt for me
And let their blood be spilt for me?

Oh where are the simple joys of maidenhood?

Shall I not be on a pedestal,
Worshipped and competed for?
Not be carried off, or better still,
Cause a little war?

Where are the simple joys of maidenhood?

Are those sweet, gentle pleasures gone for good?
Shall a feud not begin for me?
Shall kith not kill their kin for me?
Oh, where are the trivial joys,
Harmless, convivial joys
Where are the simple joys of maidenhood?