Monday, July 21, 2008

Cycling into Empty Nesthood with Too Many Gears

Beverly is my big sister. She is 51, and I am 48. When I became a mom in 1991, I was totally clueless about what to expect. I began watching Bev to prepare me for the upcoming dips in the thrilling roller coaster ride that they call "motherhood".

Bev recently entered the infamous Empty Nest stage. It is not a dip in the roller coaster ride but a hair-stands-on-end loop-the-loop. The really dangerous thing about the Empty Nest stage is that you may have an intense desire to release your seatbelt at the top of the inside loop, causing you to freefall into the dreaded Empty Nest Syndrome. Your husband can not save you because he can't hear your screams over the roar of his new Harley Davidson.

Clearly, the Empty Nest stage is not for the unprepared. I have started preparing already. Three times daily I close my eyes tightly, throw wide my arms, clench my fists, and suck in my breath while moaning loud and long from the dark and putrid depths of my grieving gut. It's the opposite of the Lamaze method. Instead of trying to push the child out, you are hoping to suck him back in. If you have a Shop Vac, you'll grasp this concept immediately.

How is Bev dealing with it? She has started a blog and taken up bicycling. Read about it here:

1 comment:

Beverly said...

Ha! On a recent visit to see Wendy, she hauled me around her pasture at breakneck speed. I thought I was in decent shape. But then again, she IS three years younger... ; )