Monday, August 17, 2009

Home Again, More Later

Well, I said in my post, Home Again, that I was pondering my new mothering role, and I would tell "more later". OK, it's later, but I feel kind of silly writing about this, because there is nothing earth-shattering or even unusual to share. I'm just sure now that what I've been seeing for a while is actually the new reality. I need to adjust accordingly.

My "children" (see pictures) are clearly young adults and need to be given more room to make and learn from their mistakes. This month they drove across country and back by themselves. On their return they stayed at home by themselves for a week with no instruction or preparation by me. I just left them grocery money.
I mentioned it in my post, Home Again, not because I thought it was newsworthy of itself, but because it opened my eyes to the situation. Rather than some kind of trailblazer for other moms to follow, I am actually the opposite. I think I should have made changes several years ago--given more freedom and more responsibility. So now, a little late, I have resolved to move out of the way, to listen more, and say "yes" more--to pray for the outcomes I desire, not lecture.


As I see my mothering role diminishing, I see my wifely role increasing. I plan to focus more on that relationship, Again, I'm behind here. Many couples I know plan regular "dates" throughout their children's growing up years. It will be a new thing for us. I want to make weekend "getaways" a regular feature. In this way, I hope to ease as much as possible our transition into empty nesters.

And lest you, dear reader, get the impression that all of this will be easy for me, please know that while I'm urging my little birdies to fly, I'll be praying for them to build their own nests right next door, with the future spouses for whom I am also praying.


Cay said...

Thank you, Wendy. You validated exactly as I knew you would. :-)

Glad you aren't getting a job and becoming a "career" woman. Then I would have to "demote" you as my mentor. lol

Wendy Haught said...

Cay, you're too funny. I can't possibly be your mentor. You built the cabin in the backyard for Corey before he even graduated from high school, right? I should have been paying more attention to your lead!

And you know that I'm too weird to fit into any career woman role. No one would hire me!

Cay said...

Well, the cabin was orginally for pawpaw. Corey inherited it and now I can't get rid of him. lol