Thursday, November 20, 2008

When John Died

It was raining. It had rained all night and part of the day before. It caused the worst flooding we have had at our house since we moved in four years ago. Herb was in Florida to pick up an RV-6 airplane from his folks. Emma was re-creating the fun she had after Hurricane Ike. Nathaniel was at school. I was taking these pictures when Herb called to tell me about John.

Herb left my truck at his parents' house and drove them to Beaumont in their motorhome. It was such a blessing that he could be there for them. I drove straight to Beaumont to be with Susan and the children. Our driveway was completely under water, and I could hear it lapping on the sides as I inched my way toward the road in Herb's Honda. I rolled down my window and told Emma, who was standing in the yard, to yell if it looked like the water was going to get in the doors. It didn't, but the next day the inside of the car smelled like a putrid swamp. Wherever the water was trapped, it evaporated, because the smell was gone the next day.

It is a peculiar thing about being a wife that you feel responsible for your husband's health. You feel like you must answer for it to his parents. I have been aware of this feeling the past year as Herb struggled with many health issues. It makes you feel like a bad wife, like you have let down his parents, who entrusted him to your care.

1 comment:

Emily G. said...

I was wondering if the affliction you speak of about your husband was something that only bothered new wives. Ugh! I guess I'll be dealing with this my whole marriage. I feel responsible for Anthony's health, the state of his haircut and clothes and always feel guilty when his parents find fault. They rarely do, but I'm always wondering if they secretly blame me if something's not right...