Monday, February 8, 2010

Milking at Midnight and Other Perils of Our Modern Lifestyle

Take this car and shove it!

That's the title of a new country song that I am writing. The idea blinked on in my brain when I realized that we are trying to live a slow lifestyle at home while still living fast in all our outside the home activities.

Just in case you are wondering, it doesn't work.

If you are going to milk a cow, make butter and cheese, bake your own bread, raise your own laying hens, and someday (sigh) get some pigs, then you better drive a wagon--no, not a Volvo wagon. I mean the kind with wooden wheels.

Owning an automobile tricks you into believing that you can do it all: drive 35,000 miles a year to procure supplies and a social life and still live the pastoral lifestyle. Then all of a sudden you are milking at midnight and noon; you're out of bread and butter, you've frantically washed the clothes that should have been dry cleaned, and your milkmaid is crying, "O! I wish I were a peasant!"

The problem is, folks have gotten rid of the cow instead of the car, destroying our community life and our health. Understanding this is the key to unlocking the problem of modern life.

Forget the new country song. I'm going to write a proposal for President Obama. It will describe a new stimulus program whereby Americans can exchange their autos for wagons and get a free family cow.

I'll call it the "Mobility to Moobility Program".

No comments: