Remembering the Dead: All Souls Day

From Godey's Lady's Book, January 1858

O Leave Her to Her Grief!

by Charles Mackay


O leave her to her grief,
Nor urge her to forget:
All art is vain to soothe her pain;
She mourns her loved one yet.

The storm will run its course;
And not till clouds have burst
Shall light appear, serene and clear,
And glorious as at first.

O leave her till she weep;
And when the tear-drops flow,
Let Pity's word, soft-stealing, heard,
Be music to her woe.

And water'd by those tears,
A little flower shall bloom;
A blossom fair for love to wear,
A hope beyond the tomb.

Special Thank -You

Via Kathleen O'Neill:

On behalf of the Reyes family, we offer our sincere gratitude to you all for the outpouring of thoughts, prayers , support and all your generosity. It has been overwhelming, yet comforting and brings our family much consolation.

Please continue to pray for us as our loss is tremendous and will be difficult for myself and the children.

May Our Lord reward you all.

Sincerely,
Yours in Christ,

Mrs. Margot Reyes and children

New Bank Account for Reyes Family Donations

The bank account that was initially set up for donations to the Reyes family has been closed due to a technicality, and a new one has been set up:

Bank of America

Account #586018871884
Account Name: Johanna Soto
Zip code needed for Bank of America customers to complete transfers: 77584

The old bank account was closed as of 8 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 16. Due to internet problems I did not get the new information until today. I apologize if the delay has inconvenienced anyone.

Funeral Arrangements for Rudy Reyes

Visitation:
Crowder Funeral Home, 851 Hwy 517 @ 646, Dickinson, TX, 77539
Thursday, Sept. 17, from 5:00p.m. to 8:00p.m., with Rosary at 7:00 p.m.

Funeral Mass:
Queen of Angels Catholic Church, 4100 Hwy. 3, Dickinson, TX,
Friday, Sept. 18., 10:00 a.m.

Burial: Mt. Olivet Cemetery.

Reception: Queen of Angels Church Hall, 1:00 p.m.
If you plan to attend reception, please bring a dish if you can.

Requiescat in Pace

Rudy Reyes passed away this afternoon during the Rosary that began for him at 3:00 p.m.

In This Vale of Tears: Rudy Reyes

According to information I have received from Kathleen O'Neill:

Margot met with a new doctor on Saturday. He was very patient and kind and explained Rudy's condition to her more clearly than the other doctor. The Chief of Staff and the Head of the Stroke Team told Margot that Rudy showed a 90% chance of no recovery from his brain stem stroke. His reflexes and such were rated on a scale of 1-6. A "1" is scored for just being there. Rudy's score was a "2" all week.

The doctor assured Margot that Rudy would not be given a large dose of morphine or taken off food and hydration.

He evaluated Rudy on Monday afternoon at 2 p.m. with Fr. Zendejas and Fr. Zigrang present. With their advice and support, the decision was made to remove Rudy from extra life support today, the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, at 3:00 p.m.

A group is organizing to pray the Rosary at Queen of Angels in Dickinson at that time. All are welcome.

Margot has requested no more visitors or phone calls but appreciates all the love and compassion shown through this difficult time. Although the whole family is in need of prayers, please pray especially for Christian, who is having a hard time with the decision.



Our Lady of Sorrows, Pray for Us!

A Visit With Rudy

Emma and I visited Rudy yesterday afternoon. It was the first time that we had gotten to see him. I was immensely reassured by how good he looked. Underneath all the tubes and wires, he still looked like the Rudy Reyes I know and love.

Since he is such a good-natured fellow, I took the opportunity to chat non-stop in his ear and tease him about the little round thing on his head. I told him that he looked like he was wearing a little girl's chapel veil. I really thought his eyes might fly open at that remark, but they didn't. However, when Rudy's buddy, Mike Stafford, talked to him, his eyelids did lift partially, two times. Mike saw it both times. Christian saw it once. Mike said that before Rudy's stroke, he and Rudy talked on the phone all the time.

I asked Christian about Rudy's breathing, the pressure on his brain, etc. He told me that Rudy is breathing on his own, but if the ventilator is removed, he may choke on his tongue. The pressure on his brain is normal. Later Margot confirmed that "Rudy is breathing 100% on his own." She also said that Thursday Rudy responded when the doctor shined a light in his eyes. This was new. He had not responded before, so he is improving.

In fact, all his vital signs are good from what we could read on the monitors, but when Margot asked the nurse for the results that she was writing in his record, the nurse refused to tell her. Obtaining the record of these vital signs is critical to preventing the hospital from removing Rudy from life support.

Although the rules state that only two visitors can see Rudy at one time, somehow a kind nurse managed to let seven of us in to pray the Rosary. We all knelt around his bed. Margot squeezed Rudy's hand throughout. We sang the Gloria Patri at the end of each decade, and I could not resist looking at Rudy's face as we did. I knew he could hear us!

I started to understand the magnitude of the problem that Margot is dealing with when Miriam Massie arrived to help Margot with legal steps to prevent the hospital from removing life support and giving Rudy morphine. Miriam's dad is an attorney, and he had written letters for Margot to submit to the ethics committee declaring her desire that Rudy not be removed from life support or given morphine or any "treatment" that would hasten his death. Apparently Texas law allows hospital ethics committees to decide the fate of a patient, even if he has expressed the desire for a different choice. Once the ethics committee makes a decision to withdraw treatment, and food and water are defined as treatment, the patient has only ten days to find an alternative hospital or care situation. Texas Right to Life says that patients often run out of time before they can secure the transfer. Memorial Hermann is trying to do this without giving Rudy the benefit of the ten days. At least that is my understanding. It is all very complicated. Miriam was also working with Margot to get a case manager assigned to Rudy. The case manager works as a liaison between the attorney and the ethics committee.

Christian looked much better yesterday than we visited him on Tuesday. He has not left the hospital since arriving Sunday night. He told us that he has made lots of friends among the staff. One of the nurses gave him a bag of homegrown fruit while we were there.

The whole Queen of Angels parish seems to be working together to help the family. It is very gratifying. Kathleen O'Neill is coordinating it all. Heather Martinez is working on getting a bank account set up for donations and a fundraiser organized. So I will get that information out as soon as I get it.

Thanks for your continued prayers for Rudy and his family.

The Rudy Reyes Family Portrait

Last week while my husband was out of town, I dug out piles of family photos and spread them across our king-sized bed. I left them there for the whole week, shuffling just enough out of the way at night so I could crawl under the covers without disturbing them. So many times the loved one I was looking for was in the background, or the photo was out of focus. The other night, Emma was helping me, and she found a professional photograph of Herb and all his brothers dressed in tuxedos that I had been looking for. I was so happy.

Somehow taking family portraits seems to get put off. We haven't had one in quite a while. But I am going to change.

With this in my mind, and with the Reyes family constantly lifted in prayer, I wanted to share with you the story behind their family picture as told by and with the permission of photographer Kathleen O'Neill. The link above will take you to her photography blog and the Reyes family portrait. Click on the photo to enlarge.

Here's Katie's story:

On a personal note, I have to say the hand of God works in mysterious ways.
Over the summer, Margot had contacted me to make her family portrait before Christian went away to Syracuse for High School. She had her heart set on a 16 x20 wall portrait. Something that was big enough to enjoy from across the living room. She had never had a family portrait made and had a hard time convincing Rudy that this was important to do. She asked me for ideas on how to present it to him, because he personally did not like to be in "pictures ".

She said as she looked back through the years she noticed he had done most of the picture taking and was in very few photos and resisted being in pictures. I told her to tell him, the children are growing, the family is changing, the children are the ones who benefit from the family portrait. They want to remember what mom and dad looked like as they were growing up. He had concerns about spending money at a time when the children were going back to school and maybe we could do it at Christmas......I offered the 50 % off to parishioners plan, they loved it.

She called me again. We're getting closer.. I almost have him ready to go. I advised her to simply do the session as planned late August and come back and order the wall portrait anytime, at least we will have the session completed and Christian can go off to school . For now just get an 8x 10 and that should be good for now.

After 3 rain dates, we finally made the family portrait one evening 2 weeks ago. She ordered her wall portrait of her beautiful family and picked it up 3 days before his stroke. His reaction to the final portrait.." WOW !" He picked out the cute dress for 3 year old Gemma. Christian looked so grown up next to Mom and Dad in his suit and tie. The girls hair was so perfectly curled....

Katie O'Neill Portrait Design

Fighting the Hospital for Rudy's Life

Rudy is still in a coma, but he has struggled against the nurses trying to take his blood, and he has responded to his wife's voice by lurching forward. He has had some difficulty breathing, but I'm not sure if that is still the case. The biggest problem now is that the hospital is pressuring Margot to take him off life support. They wanted to do it this morning. The priests are advising her. This is what I heard last night from another parishioner, Kathleen O'Neil:

It's late, 11:30 pm. Margot has succesfully obtained additional time through Monday.

It is becoming like David and Goliath in that hospital. The hospital wants to give him morphine, but Fr.Scott advised vehemently against that as it will slow his respiration.

Margot has gotten in touch with a lawyer ( Mr.Frazier) through Cerene Winkler at N. Chapel and in the morning they will talk about how to handle the next few days. It's time to strong arm the hospital. They are not interested in giving food and water either. Morphine only. But actually Fr. stated he 's not in pain. This is part of the manipulation.

Fr. Zigrang spoke to her again tonight.

Please continue your prayers for Rudy and his family.

We Need a Miracle

Our friend Rudy Reyes, husband to Margot and father of Christian, 15, Christiana, 9, Julianna, 7, Joseph, 5, and Gemma, 3, (ages approximate) is in the Neuroscience Intensive Care Unit of Memorial Hermann Hospital. The stroke he suffered Sunday night occurred in the brain stem, and the prognosis is bleak. Christian told us last night that the doctors have told them that if his dad lives, he will never be the same. He is the sole support of the family with his business, Angelus Mechanical. His top priority, though, has been to ensure that his children have the faith, not material goods. He has succeeded. While Christian accompanied his mom to the hospital Sunday night, Christiana stayed up late praying Rosaries for her dad. Then she prayed extra decades and offered them to the Eucharastic Crusade. Christian has been praying without ceasing and staying at the hospital with his dad around the clock, allowing Margot to go home at night to stay with the children.

I have been told that the family has no medical or life insurance.

I have come to love Rudy over the last year and a half. There is a childlike sweetness about him, yet his faith is that of a giant. Whenever he came down from my attic after working on our air conditioner, he would be drenched with sweat but always cheerful. I would always offer him ice water, and he would not take a sip without bowing his head and saying a little prayer.

When he was done working on the air conditioner, he always took time to play a game of pool or X-box football with Nathaniel and eat a piece of Emma's latest baking project. At church, he organized all the chess tournaments and the baseball games and practices. He also planned group father-son outings to watch the Astros play. And he maintained all the air conditioners at church.

So please, pray for a miracle for Rudy.